I have had this song in my head a lot lately. Mostly because I have been flooded with blessings and I am seeing God working on a daily basis. As you may, or may not, know The President and I ventured into the world of home~based business. NOT in our comfort area at all! We are not natural born motivators, or polished "salesmen", or even able to jump into a conversation with complete strangers. But, we want to be able to put B. through college {without her being saddled with mind~blowing debt}, I'd love for his back to not be further crippled by his job, and we want to be able to make mission trips where we support ourselves and do things for the Kingdom we haven't been able to fathom to this point. Our hope for the future overrode our doubts. For awhile. Family wouldn't help us, friends hardly listened to us, and co~workers were skeptical. We let it get to us. We were saddened by the lack of support, disappointed in our abilities, and our hearts were hardening to the whole thing. Then our friends {the ones who shared the opportunity with us} called one afternoon. They wanted to come by to show us something. They had just been to the yearly big conference and I
knew it had something to do with Ambit. I really wasn't in the mood. I was done. I'd written it off as a dumb move and was just "waiting" it out until The President decided to pull the plug. I didn't want to hear a motivational speech or any cheerleading. I was stone~cold on it. They rang the doorbell and asked us to come out. I
sure wasn't in the mood to stand outside in the blaring sun and listen. As I rounded the corner toward my driveway I noticed a brand~new shiny car. "Oh! You got a new car. I didn't know you were planning on getting a new car" I said with relief. With giant grins on their faces they said "We weren't! We WON it at AMBITION!!" They didn't just win any ol' car either. They won a $40k, brand new Lexus. We were thrilled for them. What an awesome gift. The President and I spent the afternon talking about our efforts for our business. Had we been doing all we could? I realized that day, that we were leaving out the most important part of our business...God! We had allowed our faith in Him to be waivered by other people's negativity. We had dropped Him at the first sign of struggle. The President and I decided to make God the center of our business from then on and give it a whole~hearted try. A few days later we got a call from our Lexus driving friends who said they wanted to give us their van. GIVE US THEIR VAN! I sat with tears streaming down my face as we talked on the phone. We have lived with one car for years and years. {We have a wonderful set of friends who often let us use their cars or trucks many many times, but
we only had one permanent car.} They gave me a laundry list of everything "wrong" with it but wanted us to have it if we thought we could use it. So, now we are driving a "new" van. The unselfishness they have shown is such a blessing. Their generousity, a wonderful example. We started going to meetings, making calls, ordering cards and car door magnets. We prayed for opportunities, and for resiliency, and for courage. We have had people going to meetings with us, people wanting to hear the opportunity, and people interested in becoming customers. I was still praying hard. And thanking God for each opportunity. But, as I sat watching Facing The Giants, I was struck by something. Something I had never thought of before. The main characters in the movie had been praying for a baby for years but were having tremendous difficulty conceiving. The husband asks his wife "what if God's answer is no". She responds that she will have to accept His answer. He replies "but will you still love Him". Ding Ding Ding, a light bulb went off in my heart. I began to really search myself. And, ashamedly, found I am guilty of "conditionally loving God". I pray to Him, beg Him, and praise Him, but I have let my love be chipped away when I don't
get my way. I swell with love when He answers with a yes. But, when He challenges me, works on me, or worse~says no...I pout, get upset, even stop talking to Him. I do not know what God has planned for our business, if we will find financial freedom, if The President can quit that back~breaking job, if we can go on self~funded mission trips, if B. will get to go to college free and clear. But, it really doesn't matter. We will do our best, we will keep praying, we will keep praising, and we will love LOVE HIM. No matter what. Who would have ever thought God would use someonelse's Lexus to wake me up?
